OK, So for some reason today I had an uncontrollable urge to organize and clean things, and it is VERY difficult for me living with someone else, living with their idea of how things should be organized when I have my own idea of how I like things organized. Eventually, I realize, I WILL be in my own space again, So I am trying to decide right now how I would want it to look.
Over the years I have had the habit of hoarding every single thing that ever had any significant value to me, even if it was no longer useful, and purchasing items that I had little use for, or that didnt actually mean much to me, that MIGHT come in useful.
Sometimes something, such as my daughters bassinet from when she was a newborn, I think will become handy in the future. Perhaps I will have more children.
On the other hand, it may be a long time before I have more children (If I have children at all that is) and by then, the crib will probably be out dated.
There are many things I have held onto over the years thinking that they will serve me some use, when in fact they do little more than take up space. I have never sewed an outfit together in my life, yet there are two sewing machines in my closet.
I have many informational books that are dated in their information, and no longer useful, but I like to look at them in nestalgia.
I still cling onto CDs, DVDs and VHS even though I can look up just about anything on the internet with the click of a buton.
To get to things I DO need to use, I have to push things I am not using out of the way, which takes up time in my day, and causes turmoil in my life.
I would like to turn over a new life, not only for myself, but for my daughter as well.
Children accumulate a lot of items during their first few years, it is inevitable, and the last thing she needs is a Mother who has clutter in every nook and cranny.
Although I might never be a minimalist I would like to be free, able easily move from one place to the next, able to dance around without worrying about knocking over ornaments.
It is a struggle, but it is something I am working on.
One thing I like is knowing that there are charitable organizations that will donate what I DONT need to people who might find it useful.
Monday, 19 January 2015
Friday, 16 January 2015
Be happy
I can start by saying that I would not be posting this without some inspiration from my lovely 8 month old daughter, who is the light of my life.
Whenever we go somewhere, people are fascinated with how happy and bright eyes my daughter always is, she rarely cries (unless there is a good reason, like her teeth are hurting her) and often has a huge smile on her face. Sometimes her smile looks downright silly, I look at her and think Why are you so happy...
Sometimes I will be having a stressful day and when I look over she will shoot me a huge mouth to mouth smile, it is enough to make a person cry.
No matter what the circumstance, she sees happiness in everything. Why couldnt I be more like this.
Sometimes the things that bother me, or that ruin my day are downright silly, like a long line up when I am shopping, or losing something that seems much more important than it really is. Often one scenario will piggy back on to the next and result in a downright bitch-fest.
Sometimes the people in our lives effect our mood. When I am around happy, upbeat, positive people such as my daughter I feel much happier than when I am around miserable depressed people who feel sorry for themselves.
Once a good friend told me that when something happens to us, we can choose how we retaliate. An example is when a loved one does us wrong. We can choose to be upset, or we can choose to take the high road, and take it with a grain of salt.
When I look at my life, there is a lot of changes I would like to make, my job, my living situation, the list goes on and on.
But I can choose to be happy right now, with where I am at in life right now, or let the Not so positive things get me down.
Right now, looking down at my daughter who is playing with puzzle pieces I am going to try and remain happy.
Whenever we go somewhere, people are fascinated with how happy and bright eyes my daughter always is, she rarely cries (unless there is a good reason, like her teeth are hurting her) and often has a huge smile on her face. Sometimes her smile looks downright silly, I look at her and think Why are you so happy...
Sometimes I will be having a stressful day and when I look over she will shoot me a huge mouth to mouth smile, it is enough to make a person cry.
No matter what the circumstance, she sees happiness in everything. Why couldnt I be more like this.
Sometimes the things that bother me, or that ruin my day are downright silly, like a long line up when I am shopping, or losing something that seems much more important than it really is. Often one scenario will piggy back on to the next and result in a downright bitch-fest.
Sometimes the people in our lives effect our mood. When I am around happy, upbeat, positive people such as my daughter I feel much happier than when I am around miserable depressed people who feel sorry for themselves.
Once a good friend told me that when something happens to us, we can choose how we retaliate. An example is when a loved one does us wrong. We can choose to be upset, or we can choose to take the high road, and take it with a grain of salt.
When I look at my life, there is a lot of changes I would like to make, my job, my living situation, the list goes on and on.
But I can choose to be happy right now, with where I am at in life right now, or let the Not so positive things get me down.
Right now, looking down at my daughter who is playing with puzzle pieces I am going to try and remain happy.
Tuesday, 6 January 2015
What a day
If this day were a fish, I would throw it back...
At 5:00 PM my father came over for a quick visit and the power went out completely. It was so dark out I couldnt even see my daughter (who was on my lap) Luckily she remained calm while my room mate went to find a candle...
My boss used to say to me, and that is how I would describe today (other than it ended all well), It just seemed to be ones of those days where you end up asking yourself what could possibly go wrong next...if there is anything left to go wrong that is.
At 5:00 PM my father came over for a quick visit and the power went out completely. It was so dark out I couldnt even see my daughter (who was on my lap) Luckily she remained calm while my room mate went to find a candle...
Things got better when I discovered a flash light in my bedroom, and so I killed time by calling a friend, but then things went down hill again when the house alarm went off with an ear-wrenching sound and my room mate fell off a stool trying to fix it.
One things for sure, everyone is safe, and everything ended well. I now know to keep stalked up on flashlights from now on.
A very belated new years...looking back at 2014
Hi everyone,
as you know I am not a frequent blogger, nor do I plan on being one anytime soon. I will however try to post a few times a month if I can get around to it.
The past few years have been a whirlwind of life changing events, some for the better, and some for the worst. 2014 is definitely one of my most memorable years.
I never knew what love was till I first held the bundle of joy handed over to me on May 5, at 5:45, a healthy, robust, little girl with lots of black hair, tanned skin, and beaming blue eyes. I remember crying with her when the nurses placed her on my chest (in the operating room). It was as if we were being reunited.
I had a very strange and somewhat stressful pregnancy, not telling anyone until the last minute out of fear of judgement. Looking back I wish I hadn't been so hard on myself and everyone around me. Most people (including the ones I thought would never speak to me again) were extremely supportive and happy for me. I began feeling small movements soon after I found out I was pregnant, and then the kicking started in January. Sometimes I would forget I was pregnant altogether and lie down on my stomach and Faith would kick from the inside, as if to say "Hey...don't forget about me...Get off of me!"
Sometimes when I would listen to music I swear she would dance along because my stomach would be moving in time to the beat of the music.
I ended up leaving my part time job at Tim Horton's in March because my feet were starting to get swollen, although I missed the donuts and chili. Overall my experience from Tim Horton's (short lived as it was) was pretty good, and I particularly liked working at the sister Tim Horton's down town and getting to chat with customers.
I actually stayed pretty active during my pregnancy, going to the gym and using the cross trainer a few times a week, and going for power walks through the neighborhoods, which definitely helped in the long run. The last month of my pregnancy however, was painful because the way my daughter was positioned in my stomach was so that her legs were almost straight up into my ribs. I had figured I would give birth some time in April but it ended up being early May.
In the midst of being pregnant I STILL managed to finish most of my schooling (except for the practicum) as well as work part time (until the 7th month) which I am very proud of myself for managing to do. One difficult thing was not being able to take my anti-depressants. I kept very focused, busy and managed to do fine without them. I wish I had been more social with my peers (going off my medication hampers that) but I am sure they understand given the stress I was under.
Since Faith was born in the spring, I was able to take her out on walks, and also took her to the Blind Bay Centennial, the shuswap boat show, the fall fair (later in the summer), the Carlin festival, the market, Haney House, as well as an amazing Halloween party at the Movie theater, a few awesome Christmas parties (she was a super popular baby) and an amazing trip to Vancouver with her grandparents.
I can't believe that in just a few months Faith will officially be a year old! Where did time go?! One thing is for sure the next year will be very exciting with toddler hood ahead!
as you know I am not a frequent blogger, nor do I plan on being one anytime soon. I will however try to post a few times a month if I can get around to it.
The past few years have been a whirlwind of life changing events, some for the better, and some for the worst. 2014 is definitely one of my most memorable years.
I never knew what love was till I first held the bundle of joy handed over to me on May 5, at 5:45, a healthy, robust, little girl with lots of black hair, tanned skin, and beaming blue eyes. I remember crying with her when the nurses placed her on my chest (in the operating room). It was as if we were being reunited.
I had a very strange and somewhat stressful pregnancy, not telling anyone until the last minute out of fear of judgement. Looking back I wish I hadn't been so hard on myself and everyone around me. Most people (including the ones I thought would never speak to me again) were extremely supportive and happy for me. I began feeling small movements soon after I found out I was pregnant, and then the kicking started in January. Sometimes I would forget I was pregnant altogether and lie down on my stomach and Faith would kick from the inside, as if to say "Hey...don't forget about me...Get off of me!"
Sometimes when I would listen to music I swear she would dance along because my stomach would be moving in time to the beat of the music.
I ended up leaving my part time job at Tim Horton's in March because my feet were starting to get swollen, although I missed the donuts and chili. Overall my experience from Tim Horton's (short lived as it was) was pretty good, and I particularly liked working at the sister Tim Horton's down town and getting to chat with customers.
I actually stayed pretty active during my pregnancy, going to the gym and using the cross trainer a few times a week, and going for power walks through the neighborhoods, which definitely helped in the long run. The last month of my pregnancy however, was painful because the way my daughter was positioned in my stomach was so that her legs were almost straight up into my ribs. I had figured I would give birth some time in April but it ended up being early May.
In the midst of being pregnant I STILL managed to finish most of my schooling (except for the practicum) as well as work part time (until the 7th month) which I am very proud of myself for managing to do. One difficult thing was not being able to take my anti-depressants. I kept very focused, busy and managed to do fine without them. I wish I had been more social with my peers (going off my medication hampers that) but I am sure they understand given the stress I was under.
Since Faith was born in the spring, I was able to take her out on walks, and also took her to the Blind Bay Centennial, the shuswap boat show, the fall fair (later in the summer), the Carlin festival, the market, Haney House, as well as an amazing Halloween party at the Movie theater, a few awesome Christmas parties (she was a super popular baby) and an amazing trip to Vancouver with her grandparents.
I can't believe that in just a few months Faith will officially be a year old! Where did time go?! One thing is for sure the next year will be very exciting with toddler hood ahead!
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